When Chipper Jones isn’t impregnating Hooters girls or putting up a sick OPS, he’s at his ranch in southwest Texas. In an interview with 790 The Zone in Atlanta, the third baseman spoke about his encounters with illegal aliens on his ranch. What does Chipper do in these hairy situations? Load them in his truck and call the Border Patrol, of course. Jones goes on to say that he’s had as many as 15 Mexicans in the back of his truck at once. In a pyramid formation?
On a recent frightening run-in with five illegal aliens on his farm:
“Well, you wanna talk about probably the biggest chill going up and down your spine that you’ve ever had? Try walking to the deer stand at 5:00 in the morning when it’s pitch black dark, and you’re climbing up the ladder to this power line, and you’ve got five faces standing there staring at you. But, here’s the thing, you feel fairly confident because you have a high powered weapon over your shoulder, but you know, it’s still… (Host: That had to literally scare the hell out of you.) I almost fell off the ladder when I opened the door. (Host: Is there communication? Are you asking them who they are? What happens next?) I know a little Spanish, enough to communicate with them, get them in the truck and it’s very calm, most of the time when I run in to the Mexicans crossing the border, it’s very calm, very collected. I ask them if they’re thirsty, if they’re hungry, I take them back to the house and at some point we call the border patrol just to make sure that they make it back safe and what not. People say that it’s mean to call the border patrol, but who else are you gonna call? I mean, I’m not gonna spend my whole offseason driving illegals back…”
My personal favorite baseball player ever. That's some very badass stuff, I can't imagine 15 illegal Mexicans agreeing to get in his truck unless he's pointing a gun at them. This article makes me even more proud that I named my cat Chipper Jones.
"and you’re climbing up the ladder to this power line, and you’ve got five faces standing there staring at you. But… you feel fairly confident because you have a high powered weapon over your shoulder," and you've hit over .300 in a 16 year career and you're one of the top three best switch hitters in the history of baseball. Oh, and you protect the border, feed starving Mexicans before you send them back to where they belong, and hunt at 5am, all with a fat chaw in your mouth. HOF American.