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performance enhancing drugs Archive

EVEN GOLFERS ARE ON STEROIDS NOW

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Doug Barron earned a dubious distinction today. The man with no Wikipedia page became the first golfer to be suspended for violating the PGA Tour’s anti-doping policy.

Barron is suspended for one year from the date which he failed the test. It’s unclear when the failed the test or what substance triggered the failed test. The PGA Tour said they will not comment further on the situation. Here’s what Barron had to say:

“I would like to apologize for any negative perception of the tour or its players resulting from my suspension. I want my fellow tour members and the fans to know that I did not intend to gain an unfair competitive advantage or enhance my performance while on tour.”

Mr. Barron is 40 years old and isn’t really a factor on the PGA Tour. He missed the cut at the St. Jude Classic in June and that was his only start of the season.

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MAV’S OWNER MARK CUBAN IS PRO STEROIDS

Mark Cuban Insider Trading

Eccentric jackass Mark Cuban spoke to students at the University of Pittsburgh on Tuesday. The appearance was part of the Pitt Program Council speakers series. Cuban attended Pitt and also hails from the Keystone State.

Cuban was introduced by Pitt men’s basketball coach Jamie Dixon and also answered students’ questions. The Mav’s owner presented his most recent “I’m smarter than everybody” logic when speaking about performance enhancing drugs saying:

“We do performance-enhancing things all the time, just not steroids. If you administer them properly and fairly and set the rules strictly, as long as in doing so we recognize there are no negative long-term health-impact issues. Sometimes, you just put blinders on because it came from underground. Rather than saying, ‘what’s the best way to do this and is there a positive out of it?’ we just dismiss it.”

So, if Barry Bonds lives past 60, Victor Conte is a hero. This is clearly flawed logic. Cuban later admitted that he’s “not an expert in the subject.” There’s another subject that Cuban knows very little about: being an athlete.

The main issue with Cuban’s stance is that he takes a capitalist approach to the human body. Sure, it might be minimally advantageous to take experimental drugs that won’t kill you. But it’s ridiculous to pretend that performance-enhancing drugs could be administered fairly. What if white people (or any other segment of society) benefit more from future PEDs? What if you had to start taking them when you’re 13 to get the maximum effect? What if they don’t hurt you at all… but they cost an exorbitant amount of money?

This is simply an issue of ethics in competition. The idea of creating rules to “fairly” regular performance-enhancing drugs is a complete contradiction. If you create the maximum level of fairness, you’re back to square one anyway. Last time I checked, having guys run sub 4.0 40s was not key to the advancement or survival of the human race. Maybe I really dislike Mark Cuban… or maybe I’m just afraid that the All Drug Olympics will become a reality.

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SOX STAFFERS SACKED IN STEROID STING

Over the weekend, it emerged that two Red Sox security staffers were fired for their use of steroids. Boston canned Nicholas Alex Cyr and Jared Remy, son of former Red Sox broadcaster Jerry Remy, after an initial suspension. The probe began when cops found ‘roids (Anadrol) in Cyr’s car. They were actually fired last September. MLB also looked into the incident and specifically asked the men if they supplied Red Sox players with PEDs. Both men denied providing any players with the drugs. This isn’t Remy’s first run in with the law. Here’s a gem from 2005 (thanks to a tip from cameronfrye):

Jared Remy, 27, was arrested Monday at his father’s home in Weston and charged with assault and battery and resisting arrest. Police said Jerry Remy wasn’t home at the time.

Police in Waltham, where Jared Remy lives, said he grabbed his girlfriend by the hair, threw her to the ground, threw a cell phone at her and kicked her in the back, stomach and face. He also allegedly punched her in the eye and hit her in the stomach.

Clearly, these were two classy dudes on John Henry’s payroll. The picture of the two stooges is below. Cyr looks like a weirdo and Remy looks like somebody who might punch, kick, or throw a woman.

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Via Boston.com:

Major League Baseball opened an investigation into performance-enhancing drugs inside the Red Sox clubhouse at the height of last year’s pennant race after two members of the team’s security staff were implicated in steroid use.
Both men were fired in a case that speaks to both Major League Baseball’s new intolerance for steroids and its inconclusive efforts to investigate suspicious cases.

The security staffers said they were dismissed after what they termed a cursory inquiry by Major League Baseball, and very limited questioning by the team – even though one of the guards says he swapped advice about steroids with David Ortiz’s close friend and personal assistant.

Both men said they told investigators they had no direct knowledge of steroid use by Red Sox players, including Manny Ramírez or Ortiz, both of whom were named in a New York Times report last week as having tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003.

But, in interviews with the Globe, both revealed clubhouse details that could have fueled a more zealous inquiry. And the investigation did not even resolve the basic question of where the steroids the security staffer was caught with came from.

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